Back in America

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Thank you so much for accepting to share your story with me and with Back in America Yes, it's a pleasure to be here. Thank you for having me when I joined hip I graduated from undergrad and then I had a baby right now I work for Ascender integrated health. I'm a counselor I wonder if you can take me back to a very very old story for you Before you move to the US. I know you moved when you were 7. Do you have any memories of your country of Liberia?

Very little I have very little memories of my country I do recall that There was a war going on back there and so in order to

Escape the war my family stayed like my my mom stayed my entire family stayed except for me, so we had My mom had brought me over with one of her friends

Through a refugee program back then. I don't know if you heard of the DACA Yeah back then it was really easy to come into the United States unlike now My memory of back home is very fond honestly

Yeah, what tell me more so I left my family We went to where do we go? I think we went to Ivory Coast because we were there for quite some time And I was what when I left my mom I want to say I was about five or six

Because we came to this country February. I remember was February 14th I'll never forget it because it's always Valentine's Day February 14, 2001 So I think I've been here for whatever like about 19 years So when we went to Ivory Coast I was I was probably there for a few months And then we came on a plane And when I landed here, it was actually my first time seeing snow It's like I it doesn't snow, but you know, it doesn't snow back home. So The call is a culture shock for me

honestly They didn't take me a while to adapt cuz like I I know like once I started school like once I cuz I um, I Actually used to live in Ewing so when we first when we first got here No, when we first got here we were in Hamilton because I attended Greenwood Elementary School and

There I got a lot of help with like because you know, my English wasn't really well So I got like a lot of ESL help and things like that, but I was always

Bright for lack of better words, so I've always Had like this mindset of just like Striving and not giving up so not being able to like I had difficulties understanding The teachers they try to sent me they try to um, put me back a grade

But that that didn't happen because I was able to Just like adapt so like I would go home and take the extra time to just like study and then I remember just being envious of other kids in a classroom and things like that, so It didn't take me a while to adapt at all to the American culture And so your mom moved back to Liberia or did she stay with you? She's no my mom's state. My mom has always she's she's back in Liberia

So what happened because you moved here where you on your own or I was actually with a friend of my mom a very good friend of hers Was it tough for you to be alone at seven? Yeah but back then It wasn't as tough back then as it is now to be honest now It's really tough, but back then I always had that like moral support

I had support as a kid Mm-hmm, I can genuinely say that I did so it wasn't like and my mom did really well in terms of communication So imagine from seven up until now like she she kept she kept in contact with me and she still does So that helped a lot, too. Yeah

So you just said now it's tough tell me why is it tough I I would say you know with a baby and lack of support Definitely needing my mom. I see a Lot more now. Yeah so That brings us to to that situation, right?

The the baby but maybe before we get there. I wonder if you can take me back to

High school and then moving on to college that was a good time for you, right? She did very well Yeah high school. So I first I started at you in high school. I finished ninth grade there, but then I had to leave to go to New Brunswick and then I graduated from Churton High School and actually graduated number four in my class, so I was top five and Then you went to college Yeah, and I went to Rutgers. Um, I did a double major so I graduated with

criminal justice and psychology and right now I'm actually Getting my master's at Cairn University for Counseling so I want to be a therapist senior year was when I Found out that I was gonna be a mom It was spring semester. I think I found out in February Because there's like a clinic there So that's what I've that was when I guess my entire world

Just shifted

For the better honestly Yeah, I was not expecting that

Because that brought a lot of worries Also

Yeah, it was

Initially it was but then again my mom, you know, my mom was the first person actually told about the baby and

She actually encouraged me to have the baby She's very religious like she's very religious. So Having an abortion was just something it was just not an option for her and so You know and I and I always remember my mom's words, you know she she practically told me she said this baby is gonna be the best thing that has ever happened to you and like I Don't I can't read the future and neither can she so it's kind of like I was getting myself Set up for something like the unexpected

Like the unexpected But I just like I maintain my faith I would say that I genuinely like I got a lot closer to the Lord and Even though I had no idea because I was 23 You know, I had no idea about any you know about a baby or anything like that But you know, I was willing to go ahead and take that risk

I can hear the baby That's the baby Go ahead That is him

Okay, thank you

Myself might be interrupted anytime so You know, we know what it's like. So You were about to graduate And that baby arrived What did you do? You had to find housing you had to yeah, I did so originally I was at my cousin's house, but The environment just wasn't for me. So I ended up staying with a friend

Who I was renting like a room there, but then it was kind of like so I was there There wasn't any baby at the time so I'm staying at my friend's house and just Working because at that time I was actually working at QuickCheck So I'm just working and just trying to secure Fundings a lot of funding's, you know in preparation for a baby I had a baby and I just I remember just feeling so empty I don't want to say it was like postpartum depression or any of that stuff

But I just like I genuinely was not happy with My living conditions, I just wasn't happy. I just it was kind of like From day one. I knew that I needed to provide a decent living for my son So and my mindset was always you know, I got to give him a better life than I had In the midst of you know, still working still being a mom and things like that I started reaching out to people for help So this is where hip comes in because I was just pretty much applying for like a lot of programs But one thing I'm big on education, you know, I'm big on school and things like that

So for me, it was kind of like, you know, Princeton was it for me? It was kind of like I need to go to a place where the school district is good for my son And I came across hip I had no idea what it was But it's just like I was just filling out a bunch of applications and then when things got really really bad I started like practically harassing this Carol

How bad was it and why was it bad it was just like it was like a lot of turmoil with Where I was living because now we're talking a baby's there. There was no heat. So She stopped turning on the heat. So now it's kind of like I'm in a room, a little room, a little space with a baby and

No heat so The landlord turn off the Yeah, she didn't want the baby there or what? I would I I guess so because you know a newborn baby. There's like a lot of demands You know with like the noise level And things like that. So I guess it's I don't know but I I do I I do believe that was one of the reasons

and just like But my my thing was I could have left But I wouldn't have been able to afford it My income was just not how much were you making like about nine sixty And now I was not making much at all about 200 200 a week Wow Yeah for you and Malcolm Yes, I mean Malcolm. So it's just like I couldn't take it. I did like Princeton community house

I did like a lot of housing applications and then I kept hearing the same thing, you know takes time There's a wait list and things like that so when I called on when I send my application in to hip I Got a call. I think I got a call from like miss Carol And I think she was just telling me that the place was like filled up or something like that and just be something like that I was kind of like the call that I got she gave me hope so Then I just started I know I started reaching out to her out like a lot more and just like out of desperation

um, and I don't know something something must have clicked because next thing, you know, I Went for an interview because they do like their you know, initial interview and things like that Two weeks later. She she called me and said congratulations and I literally moved into the apartment I want to say March 1st of like 2017 Okay Yeah, so from September to March that's not really there long when it comes to like this housing thing, you know

Being in a new housing like that, you know, what difference did it make to you? Oh

It's I Mean I was already responsible but it just it was just so surreal to me and Like I knew that this was an opportunity of a light lifetime. So for me it was just you know Feeling secure, you know not feeling like I have to Walk on tippy toes and somebody else's home. I was able to get a lot of Support from them. So I had a counselor. I remember miss Glenda And then I had like she was my liaison at the time career development

So I think when I got into hip that's when literally things just started Moving forward for me in a positive direction Because then it was kind of like I I went on from quick check to a decent job beneficial enough to Get my feet wet a little bit give me that experience that I needed And then once I got that job, I secured it for at least a year, which was what it was at a halfway house yeah, I was a program counselor there and Then I went back to the career coach and she pretty much just

Helped me with my resume resume building skills I've been able to network a lot with like different people which has been really beneficial to me once she helped me, you know improve my resume and Interview skills and things like that. I secured an even better job with what I do now So tell us about what you do now. I work for family preservation services in Mercer County, I do Intensive in-home counseling for families at risk of losing their children

So Interventions that I do is just helping them become more stabilized in the home So that they're able to keep their children and not have them removed by DCP and people Wow Yeah, do you think that your own? personal history Help you better understand those people Definitely. Yeah, and that's why which way

So there's a fine line that you have to draw in terms of boundaries But and I never go and tell them my story But when I hear their story, I can easily relate to them Which makes it easier for them to relate to me? And you know, it's crazy because I just had a conversation with one of my supervisor. She pretty much told me She said you're really good at what you do and that really meant a lot to me Because this is something that I'm passionate about like for me. It's kind of like Someone paid the way for me. So

Paving the way for others is just um my goal right now, um Which is why I got into the whole social social work field and even now like I'm still even though technically I graduated From hip they have been of like so much help to me that I still maintain like communications with them and even now like I have like miss Rebecca just reached out to me with an opportunity of a lifetime like I I'm filled with so much joy just talking to you about this right now because she called me and she was like, you know Congratulations because I got into like this um this program

It's called the women unlimited Organization for mentoring education and networking So even like stuff like that that I'm still getting eyes like the blessings is just it keeps coming my mom words Were true because Malcolm I feel like he came with so much blessing. I know that they're preparing me To be able to provide a living for my son, which is something that I've always dreamed of You come from Liberia you come from Africa how Do you experience this country being black, but you're not a black American. You are black from Africa In this country, I mean you are sort of in between culture, right?

Big time

As a good question I Try not to allow The outside The outside world for lack of better words intervene with The goals that I've set for myself That makes sense

Sort of so you you you try to hide out All those racial tensions. Yes, because you want to focus on on your goal, which is yeah build a career and Yeah, and to build a good life for Malcolm yeah, like I like I've dealt with and you know, if I think it's interesting that you say this because

Moving to prison has not always been easy. I've had my shares of

Racism for lack of better words, but it's the mindset that I've had and I actually talked To miss Glenda about it is that I've worked so hard to get to where I'm at right now I'm not gonna allow anyone to try to dictate My outcome so I'm not gonna I'm not gonna tell I'm not gonna let people try to push me out of my dreams, you know, so

for me, it's just tunnel vision Pretty much but I do I do address it when I see fit So, you know, there was an incident with my my son's school It ended up working out in a sense that you know the same support system that I have with hip They were able to reach out to a professional, you know who was then able to assist me with the situation And it worked out What is America to you

America is giving me the head start is pushing me to a place where I Can just pretty much built up my character to take something back home for other children you know, I feel like and I feel like I'm here for a purpose like I know it sounds like a cliche But I genuinely because I just find it unbelievable how things have just been working out

For me and you know for Malcolm and I that I feel like that I feel like I there's a purpose For all of this. So it's just soaking everything in you know, right now. I'm kind of like a sponge, you know I'm getting all the education that I need because a Part of being like a therapist or striving to be a therapist is I feel like mental health is really important so it's just going back home and and things like, you know abuse and things like that and Taking that back with me and trying to just stabilize other children So I guess

Sorry, and when you say going back home, you mean home in Liberia? Yeah, is that what you want to do ultimately? Oh Yeah, yeah And I've been planning because bear in mind since Since I came here in 2001. I have not seen my family So what I'm gonna do is, you know, I want for Malcolm to get to an age where you know his memories Serves him right because when I when I go back home, you know Obviously he has to meet his grandma and his uncle and his aunt So I want him to get to an age where you know

It'll be good good enough for him to go and experience my side my culture And hopefully he can take something from that So I'm definitely planning within the next year or two to go back because I need to meet my mom like, you know

I'm sure you do Where'd you plan to settle in the US over there? So I Want to do I want to travel back and forth and people say I'm crazy for this, but it's kind of like I Can't just abandon America because America gave me that

Stabilization I guess and So but I can't you know, I can never forget where I've come from. So it's kind of like maybe I can Build a home back back home where I can just travel back and forth go on vacations and stuff and Just experience my roots too. Yeah Well, I don't blame you for that. Do you have any and that will be my last question. Do you have any advice for? People going through tough time

Yes Stay true to yourself. Just know that The storm does not last forever There's always There's always light at the end of the tunnel looking back at at your own experience. Would you do anything differently? No

Thank you, thank you you too. Thank you so much. I'm so excited. Thank you. Bye. Bye